Regrets...

 

At 45, far from home and my young kids’ laughter,

I toiled in Saudi for fifty thousand in a year,

Only to lose it all on CLOB shares—

Every single dollar, gone.

Do I regret? Yes, I do.

At 55, I flew to Cambodia, a bad dream in my mind—

To raise a cow instead of buying milk close by.

Such was my folly, head full of cow dung dreams.

Do I regret? Yes, I do.

At 60, behind the wheel of a cab,

I ferried strangers, day and night,

For a decent meal, while .some friends scorn in secret delights.

Do I regret? Yes, I do.

At 70, during the COVID storm,

I left the cab and retired alone—

Living on CPF savings, barely enough.

Do I regret? Yes, I do.

Regrets, I've had too many to count,

Choices made wrong, paths not taken.

Now, as eighty draws near, the end is in sight.

I’ll carry these regrets to wherever I go.

But like Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”,

I shall cast them out, along the by-ways.

To live each day afresh, 

And cherish each step I take, each breath I’ve.

To my friends, both rich and poor,

Living and gone, I say with a sigh:

I wish you peace, on earth and beyond—

Here, or perhaps in heaven’s embrace.

A Single Lady's Fear.

 I heard that before entering into a relationship,

a single lady trembles with fear.

She looks back at the care-free time she had,

leaving a messy bed undone, 

dirty clothes strewn all over her room,

and no one cares.

But now, in front of her,

she sees a new life so different.

That to enter,

it seems leaving the carefree single life behind.

Hesitant, she struggles with thoughts of going back,

somehow her heart says “no way”.

She has to take the risk

of entering into a new life of possibilities,

like a river entering an ocean and embracing it.

Because only then will the fear disappear

and a vast ocean of joy and happiness beacons,

with a family of her own.

Glaucoma - a silent eye defect.

 About ten years ago, I noticed my vision was blurry. Initially, I thought it was due to my existing short-sightedness. I tried increasing the power of my spectacle lenses, but my vision didn’t improve. It turned out that my right eye was affected by glaucoma — a progressive, incurable condition caused by high eye pressure that gradually damages the optic nerves.

A belated check-up at the Singapore Eye Hospital confirmed that I had glaucoma in my right eye. Unfortunately, by then, it was too late. Glaucoma cannot be reversed and, over time, leads to complete blindness. Thankfully, my left eye remained unaffected and continues to have perfect vision. To protect it, I now have to apply three different types of eye drops regularly to prevent high pressure from building up.

Living with half-blindness has been challenging and life-changing.

Is it troublesome? Absolutely.

I struggle with simple tasks. I often miss the cup when pouring water, and lighting candles or joss sticks has become an exercise in frustration as I frequently miss the target.

These are minor frustration I can live with.

My main worries are missing a step or kicking a curb resulting in a nasty fall that could potentially be the end of the road for me. God forbid.

This morning, while waiting for the bus, I placed two bags of groceries on the ground beside my seat. When the bus arrived, I only picked up the yellow plastic bag and unknowingly left behind a transparent bag containing $10 worth of prawns. Losing it was a painful reminder of how glaucoma—and perhaps my carelessness—has affected my daily life.

To those fortunate enough to have perfect vision, my heartfelt advice is this:

Never take your eyesight for granted. Go for regular eye check-ups at an eye specialist clinic or hospital (not just an optical shop) to ensure your eyes are healthy. Early detection can make all the difference.