Friday, 17 February 2012

Free Lunch

Come In. Free Lunch!!.



RING......RING......RING......RING.......RING..................

I woke up and instinctively pressed the alarm clock to death. It was 9pm on a Wednesday night. I had overslept by more than an hour. Quickly, I rushed to have a bath, bite and hit the road with my cab in 30 minutes. The morning medical appointment had disrupted my sleeping routine and I had slept like a dead log. Somehow, I knew the night would be different from other Wednesday nights. And true enough, something out of the ordinary did happened later and I would like to share my experience with you.

I hit my favourite pick up spot at Night Safari around 10pm. About 60 taxis were already in the queue that stretched up to car park entrance. I was not deterred though because I knew the crowd would soon arrive at the taxi stand. Thirty minutes later, I had my first passengers. They were three young Chinese girls and a man - all in their early twenties. They had deliberately avoided taking the "expensive" black "Chrysler" and a "Chevrolet" ahead of mine and boarded my "slightly-cheaper" blue "Sonata", smiling and laughing happily. Immediately, I knew my passengers were street-smart and calculative people, mostly likely Mainland Chinese.

"Royal Park at City Hall, please" the man asked with a typical Mainland China ascent and sat beside me. I was right in my prediction of their nationality.

"I got it" I replied, punched the meter and hit the highways.

Through out the journey, the group talked non-stop and loudly in Mandarin, like most Chinese nationals do. Each time when the man beside me talked to the girls at the back seat, he would turned his head around to speak to them. The bad breath from his mouth was horrible and I had to place a finger across my nose to mitigate the terrible smell. I did not squeezed my nose as it would be offensively rude.

Well, I did not alter a word during the trip, as they were talking totally among themselves. Their conversation revolved around their office politics, travels, relationship within their families and friends but not a single word about their experiences here nor comparison of China with Singapore. Apparently, the group were office colleagues on holiday around this region and not China girls from the night entertainment industry here.

Soon, we reached the hotel. A girl paid the exact fare of $20.50 and I gave her a receipt upon demand.

A buddy of mine was at the nearby "Esplanade Mall" taxi stand and I drove off to join him for a smoke right behind his cab.

Within minutes, my buddy moved off with a white couple to Holland Village and a Filipino man boarded mine to Ponggol Central.  It was a good fare for me.

Now, (if you're still with me), what happened in the next hour was something out of the ordinary and a good learning experience for new cabbies.

A few minutes after I moved off from "Esplanade Mall", my cellphone rung:-

"Mr Lim, did you pick up a group of people at the Night Safari earlier" a lady from COMFORT call centre asked politely.

"Yes. what's the problem?. I replied.

"A girl left a camera in your taxi. Please check whether it's there" she asked.

I turned around to look at the back seat and immediately, my Filipino passenger passed me a camera. It was a miniature camera in a cotton pouch.

"Yes, it's here. My honest passenger found it". I replied loudly so that my passenger could hear my compliment of him.

"Ok, I'll ask the girl to call you" the lady said.

"OK, But first, you must tell the girl that she had to compensate me based on the meter fare when I return the camera to her. I'm now on my way to Ponggol with a passenger" I demanded as a matter-of-factly.

In my rookie days, I had returned many lost items like cellphone, camera and laptops to owners without a single cent of reward nor a word of "thank you". Some people think that it is a taxi driver's obligation and duty to all return lost items to owners. Yes, I agreed but we've the options to select where and when to return item. After five years of taxi driving, I had wise up. I'm a poor taxi driver with a family to support not a wealthy man with free time to do charity work.

"If she don't accept my request, she had to pick up the camera from COMFORT office tomorrow". I continued.

"Ok, I'll check with her and call you back", she answered calmly.

A few minutes later, the call-centre lady called to say that the girl accepted my request and would call me directly soon.

Ten minutes went by and then my cellphone rung again.

"Driver, this is Hotel Royal Park. When you reached the hotel, call me at the number appearing on your cellphone and pass the camera to me". a Filipino ascent man spoke brusquely over the line.

"Look. I don't have to talk to you. Ask the girl to call me directly using her cellphone or she had to pick her camera at COMFORT office tomorrow, period". I told him off bluntly as he was rude. I reckoned he thinks that taxi drivers can be easily bossed around.

"She don't have a cellphone" he replied angrily.

"Tell her not to bull-shit me". I screamed over the phone and hung-up.

I was petulant with the hotel staff's attitude when he spoke to me. But infuriated at the girl reluctance to call me directly. I knew she was using the hotel staff to collect the camera on her behalf to avoid paying me the "compensation-fare", just like she avoided taking the expensive "Chrysler" earlier at Night Safari?. She thought she was smart but I wasn't stupid. From past experience, I observed that most of my passengers from Mainland China are cheapskates, shrewd and unscrupulous. I never like them and never will.

A few minutes later, my cellphone rung again. As expected, the girl finally called me with her cellphone. She spoke to me snobbishly in English with an American ascent. I replied in Mandarin sternly.

Eventually, we met at the driveway to the hotel entrance. Two hotel staffs were with her to lend their moral support. I handed her a meter-fare receipt for $22.00. Before she hand me the cash, she demanded to inspect the camera for damages and defects. I pushed the pouch into her hand, took $20 out of $22 from her palm and walked away feeling disgusted. Typical China girl!. I didn't open the pouch at all while it was in my hand.

Anyway, not a word or gesture of appreciation was given. Was she disappointed that her decietful trick failed or was she expecting a free return all the while?. Now, who pays for my fuel, rental and "missed opportunities"?. She thought she could trick this old man to get a free lunch. FAT HOPE!

Somebody should tell her that in Singapore, don't ever expect free lunches. Our government never give free lunches and we're obediently following their footsteps. However, at the risk of sounding self contradictory,  I'm pleased to say that in recent months, this government had increased social spending and extend more state support to the elderly and low-income workers, like me. This is long overdue.      



   



         

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Humor - Missing Denture

I look like him without my denture!

I had a medical appointment at N.U.H. this morning to check my throat for cancer tumour. Lately, I produce guttural noises whenever I speak and tend to lose my voice when I talk too long. I used to sing like Tom Jones, holding my friends attention in awe and admiration, ha,ha.ha! But, now my once pristine voice had become raspy and hoarse like a croak of a toad. My 45 years of cigarette addition is starting to show it's destructive effects on my health. Honestly, I really wish I could stop smoking immediately but it's only wishful thinking, like many things in life. sigh!

Anyway, I took a cab and arrived punctually at Clinic F of NUH new building, after navigating through the many passage ways using the many confusing directional signs. At the registration counter, I was told that I could use my Medisave if throat endoscopy is done and the $3.15 processing fee for using my Medisave is waived. I would have felt disgusted if C.P.F. had continued with this day-light-robbery charge. Why?

Medisave is my blood, sweat & tears money and why should I pay for using my own money, although it's a negligible amount. Do I pay my banks when I withdraw my money?. No! Do you know that I would loose my taxi licence and my brother cannot operate his bicycle shop if we fail to top-up our Medisave annually?. Frankly, I had to take my hat off to this government for their many genius policies of compelling its citizen to pay for their own upkeep. This government don't believe in giving free lunch. In Cantonese, we say "nah sai nah call sei" - "you die is your problem, don't bother me". Is this right? 60% of Singaporean gave the thump up!. I don't know what to say.(LINK)

On a happier note, something happened in the doctor's room during the throat endoscopy that make everyone laughed their guts out. This is what happen.

"Doctor, please let me remove my denture before you push that thing into my throat. I don't want to die of suffocation here." I said mockingly.

The young doctor quickly handed me a few tissue paper from his dispenser with a pleasant smile. I wrapped my full set of denture completely with it and placed it on a side table among many medical instruments. It then looks like a tennis ball of trash.

"Uncle, everything looks fine inside your throat, no tumour." the doctor said and I heaved a great relief.

"Hey, Where is my denture?" I asked after discovering that it had gone missing from the side table.

"OMG, I think my staff must have thrown it away" the doctor answered in disbelief.

Both of us guffawed as we slowly began to relish the funny part of the situation.

Luckily, my discarded denture was found, sterilised and returned to me an hour later or else I would look like the funny old man in this picture for the next few weeks.

Tonight, I'll probably start my work a bit late as I need to catch up my lost sleep. But I had to drive a few hours more to re-coup the nearly $100 spent at NUH. sigh.








      

Monday, 13 February 2012

Music - Whitney Houston


Yesterday, I woke up to the shocking news of Whitney Houston passing away at a relatively young age of 48. She was my female idol of the early eighties and a deserving one. "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU"  will always bring back fond memories of my dating years. Much had already been written about the circumstances of her death, career, life, marriage, .....(HERE), I've nothing more to add except to say that I'll always love you, Whitney!!! R.I.P.


Another of my Favourite - A Moment In Time.


Saturday, 11 February 2012

Bitter Pills


One of the things I love about my job is the fact that I meet all kinds of people.

For instance, last night I had a young local Chinese man in early twenties boarding my cab at Centre Point in Orchard Road. He had a clean, decent look, with neatly combed hair and black rim spectacle, like local comedian Mr. Hossan Leong.  Actually, I did picked the REAL Hossan Leong some years back at a forgotten place and off loaded him at Raffles Hotel. He was the second local celebrity that ever boarded my cab. The other person was Ms. Wong Lee Lin. Mr. Hossan Leong was quiet at the back seat with a Caucasian man then. But this local chap at Centre Point was chatty and sat slouchingly beside me.

"Uncle, please send me to Anchor Point at Alexandra Road". he said with a broad smile.

"Sure, Any preferred route? I asked routinely.

"No, the fastest way at your convenience". came the pleasant reply.

Normally, I don't get his sort of nice answer from my passenger, especially the words "at your convenience". To some drivers, it could mean a trip for an easy "ripe-off" by taking a longer than necessary route. To me and I'm proud to say, it meant I had to think harder for a best route to repay their complete trust in me.

"Uncle, are you celebrating this coming Valentine Day? he asked nonchalantly but stared straight into my eyes for an answer.

"No, I'm too old for that sort of thing". I replied with a surprised look at him and was ready for his verses of advice for an old man on how and why I should celebrate the "Valentine Day". Instead, he came with another dumb question.

"What should I buy for my girl friend",  poking his cheek with his middle finger and smiling broadly as he spoke. His body language were clearly effeminate.

Is he gay or is he that moronic to consult an old man who had just told him that he wasn't interested in sentimental stuff?. Then I thought, gay or moronic, I might as well banter this young chap with my load of raillery.  

"Get her an expensive diamond ring or your own cheap, unwashed and "smelly" underwear, so that she would always be reminded of you!". I said jestingly.

"What should I say to her when I give her the diamond ring or my underwear?. he replied, starring through the window blankly like a patient with mental problem.

I was flummoxed into a split second of silence and the proverbial tingle went up my spine. It seems that he accepted my suggestions literally without antipathy. This chap must be a psycho or dumb-ass or was he daffing with me for his amusement. If the latter is the case, then I had a taste of my own medicine.

A few hours later, I had to swallow another bitter pill.

Three fabulous looking Caucasian ladies boarded my cab at MBS Hotel, slightly passed midnight. All were dressed to the niche for the night and looks like they had a wonderful time at the hotel.

"Driver, Can you stop somewhere along the way for me to get a pack of cigarette" a lady asked as I punched the meter.

"I'm not sure there's any convenience store along the way. But, you can have mine for a quick fix". I offered my pack, without giving a serious thought to consequence of smoking in a cab. Till today, I don't know why I did that foolhardy thing. Maybe my recent encounter with the "God of Fortune" was still fresh in my mind and I was hoping for similar "fortune" at the end of the trip.

Well, apparently my empathy for fellow smokers was enough to make us pals. In that friendly atmosphere, we chatted about my past visits to various casinos in Australia and this blog.

"May I've a photo of three of you for my blog". I asked politely.

"Sorry, No. We're famous people and don't want anyone to know we're in Singapore. Hope you respect our decision". a lady replied. The word "famous" built-up images of famous Australia actress like Nicole Kidman and Olivia Newton John in my mind. I took a hard look at them. They were total strangers to me and nowhere close to Nicole,

"Sure, no problem. Are you ladies actress or singers from Australia" I asked spontaneously.

"No, we're authors of a popular magazine for the rich and famous". came a hesitant reply.

"What's the name of the magazine?. I asked as I got more curious and intrusive.

"A%$^&* magazine".

I didn't get the exact name though it was given enthusiastically. Anyway, it was greek to me and I wasn't interested in a magazine that's only for the rich and famous. I'm a proletariat.

Soon, we reached their hotel. The fare was $16.10 cents. Two ladies got out hurriedly and left one to settle the fare. The remaining one placed two crumpled $10 notes into my hand and requested for a receipt, since she could claim the taxi fare. I gave her the change of two $2 notes and was secretly hoping in my heart that she would give me a small tip, since I had offered her a cigarette. But, No, None!. Instead of a tip, she left with a stern word of advice - "Baccarat is a dangerous game".  Is that all I got for my empathy with fellow smokers?

On hindsight, a Chinese's saying floated in my mind :- "Failing to trap a fowl, I lost a fistful of grains". 偷鸡不着蚀把米  
(tou ji bu zhao shi ba mi)
Beautiful Nicole Kidman





Saturday, 4 February 2012

A Ticket For....?


Last night was supposed to be a busy Friday night, with lots of work and good earning. But, somehow, I didn't start work early and got to the Night Safari only at around 9pm for my first passenger.

From experience, I knew that at that hour, a crowd would form at the taxi stand, as it would be the end of the first show and most passengers would likely be tourists heading to their hotels in the city. I was ready to roll in a good job to town with at least a $15 fare. Alas! Somehow, my first passengers turned out to be a local youth with three foreign friends, heading to the former's residence at nearby Woodlands!. My dream of a good trip to the city evaporates into the thin air. It was a $6 job.

Like most taxi drivers, my disappointment with that short distance fare to a out-of-town location at Woodland, was clearly shown in the tone of my voice and facial expression. But, no, not to an extent being angry at my passengers, but just plain disappointment with my ass luck. A divine voice seems to whisper into my ear to warn me that the following hours into the night was going to be hell for me. And I was mentally prepared for the worst.

Now, traditionally Chinese New Year celebration is suppose to last for fifteen days and last night was only the 12th day. Surprisingly, everybody in Woodland seems to be sleeping at that early hour and none were at the roads to hail my taxi. After my passengers departed, I tried my luck at Woodland Checkpoint and was shocked to see a long queue of about 20 stagnant taxi at the rank, with no passenger in sight. Now, what happen to everybody? Had the recent Lunar New Year celebration drilled a big hole into everyone's pocket, just like mine?.

I then decided to return to the Night Safari to catch the next crowd of departing visitors and took the usual Mandai Road. Hungry for a fare and anxious not to be at the back of a long queue of taxi at that place, I pressed hard on my accelerator and speed off like a starving refugee to a food ration centre.

Lurking in the shadow of the lush foliage along Mandai Road, was a bunch of dark blue uniform policemen, waiting to shoot approaching "preys' with their speed guns. Actually, they were in plain view with their "hairdryers" extended but I was so deep in thought with my earlier frustrations that I failed to see them. As I woke up from my "slumbering thoughts", I was being waved at by the cop to pull in. As he approached my cab, I humbly said " Sorry, Sir, I didn't know how fast was I doing?" to which he showed me the speed gun, which had 90 kmph on the display!. There and then, I knew I had another big hole in my pocket!.

"Do you know that this is a 70kph speed limit road?. You're booked for speeding. Can I see your drivers licence". His words were spoken at a speed faster than what I had just done with my cab.That was it, so swift and final!! No warning, no bollocking, no "don't do it again", no "pang-chan"

Well, I've to say that over the years the police have been very fair with me and I've been let off more times than I can remember for many minor traffic offences, but still the latest one was hard to take. He took my licences back to his car to run some checks and he duly returned them to me with a ticket as well. It was a $200 fine with 3 demerit points. He didn't say anything and from experience I never uttered a word too. I drove away totally disillusioned with the job that has seen me incurring fines at an unsustainable rate recently. Writing an appeal letter for a waiver of the fine, either directly or through my MP, is pointless. In the end, I've only myself to fault.

On a happier note, the next passenger at Night Safari sent me down to the city and thereafter, followed by many good runs, I managed to earn enough to cover half the fine and filled up the coffer of the traffic police division. Apart from the speeding ticket, no other poignant situation happens for the rest of my shift. The earlier divine whisper of caution was facetiously forgotten. 

I'll end this latest post by sending my deepest condolence to the family of our late Dr. Toh Chin Chye. He died this morning at a ripe old year of 90. He was a founding member of PAP, the political party that govern this country beautifully for the last 45 years. Without him, I might be in a third world country worrying about my next meal, instead of fuming at a ticket for speeding. May You Rest In Peace, Dr. Toh. Thank You!

Well, that's all for now folks, but do check back soon for more!
The Late Dr. Toh Chin Chye - Founding Father of Modern Singapore